update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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