I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
