these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
