I wish i was in the wii world.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
