that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
