The maid of honor just puked.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
