Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
