You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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