Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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