so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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