Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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