I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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