Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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