He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I wish I only lived at night.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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