i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize