Who did Billy Mays play for?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
