I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Church boner. Awkwardddd
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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