His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
