she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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