Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You've changed since you got that strap on
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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