I hope mine doesn't look like that
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
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