dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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