he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I love you. Go after that dick
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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