So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
