Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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