apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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