If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Also, beer. Big fan.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
