I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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