it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize