if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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