awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You made out with two different species that night
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
