Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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