Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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