so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
