I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
