how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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