What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
