I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
