Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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