Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
