haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
