I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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