Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
