you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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