Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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