I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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