He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
His nipple licking is glorious
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