I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
