Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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