with your own penis?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
