my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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