gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Lo siento on account of my penis...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
