You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
smell my finger.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
