And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Congratulations! We have a period
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