Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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