Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
