Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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