This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
