okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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