I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
